Independent investigator Steve Branchflower is due to turn in his report on Sarah Palin’s suspected abuse of powers in Troopergate today. After he delivers the report to the Alaska state legislature, the body will vote on whether or not to release it to the public. Progressive bloggers in Alaska have been campaigning for weeks to get the legislature to release the report. The whole affair, particularly post-Palin’s pick as McCain’s running mate, has rankled legislators on both sides of the aisle in Juneau. The McCain-Palin campaign has sent lawyers up to Alaska to stonewall, trying for most of September to kill the investigation and simultaneously paint it as a partisan witchhunt. Which of course it’s not; the bipartisan Legislative Council voted unanimously to start the investigation early this summer.

This is probably the single funniest headline and lede I’ve read this year. From Matt Apuzzo of the AP:

Palin pre-empts state report, clears self in probe

By MATT APUZZO – 8 hours ago

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) — Trying to head off a potentially embarrassing state ethics report on GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin, campaign officials released their own report Thursday that clears her of any wrongdoing.

It’s good to see that the writers at The Onion now have opportunities to ply their work in McCain’s campaign.

Marcy Wheeler points out that the McCain campaign’s preemptive “report” magically proclaiming Sarah Palin totally innocent of all charges (I was surprised that the report didn’t demand Branchflower and Hollis French pay $1,000,000,000 in restitution) also goes so far as to argue that John McCain actually isn’t qualified to be President:

But did you know they rationalized their concern by describing Mike Wooten’s–Sarah’s former bro-in-law–“long history of unstable and erratic behavior”?

Although the report describes Wooten as a separate issue, the McCain campaign goes into great detail about the “rogue” trooper and his “long history of unstable and erratic behavior.”

So in case you’re wondering, the McCain camp agrees that the guy with the long history of unstable and erratic behavior is a menace to society.

In the pursuit of the presidency and vice presidency, John McCain and Sarah Palin have demonstrated a willingness to say and do whatever it takes, regardless of principles or facts. Evidently their ambition goes so far as to not be internally logical, but I don’t think this surprises anyone.